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Six months ago today, I went out in a blizzard to meet a boy at a bar for a date. We watched the Leafs play the Habs and cheered really loudly and drank all the Jager shots and then used my iPad to order pizza and listened to old Editors songs and made out at Ossington subway station. And we’ve been together ever since.

May the next six months (and beyond) be filled with just as many awesome experiences and just as much time spent being Cool Guys.

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Being at the CNE, I get to see creatures I’ve never seen before. This is an Ornery Hellfowl. 90% bird, 10% demonic nutsack, it’s shrill, piercing cry will signal the end of days and open the black portal to the nether-realm.